Monday, January 14, 2008

Cool Only Counts if You're a Freezepop or the Fonz

So okay... saw this chain letter thing that was posted on a myspace profile written from the perspective of a "pissed off" and again "former nice guy".

The whole thing went into the justification of why there are no more nice guys... i.e faggity fellows who cook dinner, kiss in the rain, and all that bullshit. The punch line was that all "nice guys" are turned evil by that shallow whore who keeps them as a platonic puppy. Ya know... the "friend zone" and all that hullabaloo. The whole thing made me want to throw up in my mouth a little...

because in all honesty... NICE GUYS....

Behind every shallow whore is a platonic puppy... and behind every platonic puppy... is a cool cat. Now... what do I mean by that...

Ok... would the nice guys please think for just a second... just for a second... now... think of that one girl that dated ridiculously idiotic guys ... you loved her to death... you listened to all her sob stories about douchebag boyfriends and secretly loved when she cried on your shoulder because her hair smelled like strawberries... and she's the one who always told you time and time again... she just wanted to be friends and blah blah blah... you thinking of her... of course you are... she was all you ever thought about... now stop thinking about her for just one fucking second ok?

Now think of that one friend you have. Hell she doesn't have to be a friend just think of that one person. It's a girl. She's into all the same movies and video games... she's funny as hell... almost like hanging out with one of the guys... She's smart and chill and never has a problem spotting you from time to time... She's great at boosting your ego but knocking you off the pedastool at the same... know who I'm talking about her... yeah her... she's cool and all but....

but... that word is followed by sooooo many others... doesn't matter... the important thing is that she's cool... and nice guys... the platonic puppies... DON'T DATE COOL CATS!

I myself... I am the coolest fuckin kid in school... which is probably why I can't find a guy to save my life... seriously... because guys... nice or douche... do not want cool girls... they don't want a girl that plays video games, alcohol tolerance like an irishmen, and doesn't give a shit if you go out with the guys...

I mean yeah that would fuckin rock if she was like that and had killer tits.

Cools cats turn into shallow whores because they lose they identity as soon as they realize being cool as gotten them no where... you don't get laid by have dignity... guys don't respect you... so why should you respect yourself.

So ... Nice guys... before you begin to bitch and whine that nobody loves you and that means you have to turn into a douche... maybe you should rethink your own situation in life...

because for every shallow whore that broke your heart... there was a girl right behind you that was cool and all... but.... insert your lame excuse here... it all amounts to you masturbating with your tears.

signed:
"One cool cat that refuses to turn into a shallow whore no matter how many "nice guys" turn her down."

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