To Be Middle Class and White

Dear Customer:

I understand you were having a bad day... a family crisis with the dog and all that. I understand another employee that wasn’t ME and wasn’t even from my STORE ended up holding onto a product box from a go-phone assuming that I dunno you wouldn’t return it in... 3 days... which you’ve returned before... I gave you the benefit of the doubt that time too... it was for your daughter... ok. And now you know you’re wife put you on her plan... ok sure why not.

You come into my store with a phone with no box. I can clearly see you have everything there. But my job depends on whether or not you have that box. So because I TRUST YOU. I go out of my way to contact people to see what I can DO FOR YOU.

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST I’M RACIST! I’m so incredulous... even when I have helped you multiple times before that without so much as a question or a complaint... and then we have one situation that I go out of my way to fix for you... and I’m racist. Right.

The double standard sickens me... Why would you assume automatically because I can’t just hand you 80 dollars it’s a race issue. Why would you think that just cause I’m white I’m out to get you. I’m sorry it took half an hour... but guess what that half hour was my time too. Time I didn’t have to spend. You didn’t have the box. I could easily said Nope. Go to Bay Park it’s their mess. If they really lost the box take it up with them. And I don’t appreciate spending a half hour of my time to get YOU money to be called a racist...

I’m just so... It’s things like that... it just grinds my gears. It reminds me of this time... I was talking to a woman at my church and she said she liked my necklace and I couldn’t remember which one I was wearing and so I grabbed it to find out and she asked me if I had a problem with black people and if I thought she was going to steal it.

I WAS DATING A BLACK GUY YOU DUMB BITCH!

But I mean how do you tell someone that... I mean is that really proof that you’re not racist... I think in some sense... I mean I know Nathan is whiter than some white people I know... but If I was truly racist... would I have given him a second thought to know who he was after I had seen the color of his skin.

And call me Hilter if you like... but I really feel like White people are one of the most discriminated against races... It feels like Every other single race thinks we’re out to get them... that if they don’t get their way it’s because We’re racist... And It really drives me nuts... because Racism instills fear... I fear interacting with those people because they pull the race card and because its still such a sensitive subject people bend over backwards to appease them...

Had I not enjoy my job once he begin pulling the race card I wanted to tell him to leave the store and there was nothing I could do for him. Because that’s absurd... He said... "Do you normally have customers jump through all these hoops..." and it’s like what hoops? I’m the one making phone calls... I’m the one doing all the work.. all you have to do is be patient... and if you really were having a family crisis what the hell would compel you to return your phone right then. And then when I go into the back to make my phone calls you start talking bad about me calling me a racist.

I’ll go ahead and let my former boyfriend and close friend whom I care about deeply know that I actually judge him because he’s black. And the man who was a friend of the family for years who was like an uncle to me who was actually FROM Africa... I’ll let him know I only think he’s some stupid Negro. Every customer, and classmate, and co-worker and child... that I helped, related to, and conversed with, and cared for with all my heart. I’ll be sure to let them know... I’m just one big fuckin racist.

And I really hope that just like white people get embarrassed when someone really is racist... that black people are embarrassed by you for pulling that card.

In the words of Christopher Walkin...

I have a question for you... you should be ashamed of yourself.

Now if you don’t mind... I have some crosses to burn.

loan,
Rose