The Distribution Of Wealth

So as an Econ major I have been very engaged with the country's current economic woes. Many fingers have been pointed at the cause. The easy blame is George W Bush. While it would be great to blame a country worth of issues on one pseudo-texan we really can't give him all the credit.

Other theories of course fall into the crumbling housing market... how the failed variable rate mortgages have been the down fall of many institutions and american families. De regulation of the banking system, the money drain known as the war on terrorism, and dependence of foreign goods have all fallen victim to cause of our current crisis.

I'm here to offer the REAL reason this country is experiencing staggering unemployment rates, and dwindling saving funds. I am here to declare there is a much larger money sucking beast than our wars on intangibles, or Insurance Company retreats. There is a definite skew in our distribution of wealth.

I'm not talking about CEO executives living off the fat that is intended to trickle down. As disgusting as that is I'm talking of course of the Vacuum known as the entertainment industry.

While I could go on for ages about how it seems so surreal that some doctors and teachers are working 60 hours a week to feed their families while movie stars and athletes are just tossed fat sums of cash for smiling or walking from point A to B. But that's not what I'm ranting about right now. Americans love their entertainment it's definitely a normal good, and in such dire times it certainly is becoming more of a necessity. They are paid that way because there's a demand for it. It is what it is.

No. What's really grinds my gears is the fact that SOMEBODY keeps giving the Wayan Brothers money to continue to make crap like this...

..

really?! Didn't disaster movie just come out? Was epic movie not enough? Did enough people really go see Meet the Spartans? WHO THE HELL KEEPS FUNDING THIS CRAP! If you feel the need to laugh at crappy movies... jesus why not just get a couple of friends together... spend your nine dollars on beer, watch the original at home and make fun of it your own damn self! Trust me your money is better spent there.

To me there is this sense of laziness present when you have to have someone else make fun of things for you. I've said it before and I'll say it again... these movies are the foundation of what's wrong with America. They promote unwise spending, instant gratification, and the lack of ambition to be creative or self-motivated.

In conclusion however... Role Models was a charming film.

PDR: Get a Pew for Christsakes

So first I'd like to share a short antic dote that did not happened directly to me but that I would not doubt many of us have seen before.

A friend of mine was recently enjoying a late lunch at Noodles and Company when he notices a couple across from him about to sit down for their meal. Everything seems to be going normally when all of a sudden the man begins to pray over his food. A classic case of what I like to call....

PDR: Public Display of Religion

Public displays of religion (which will now be referred to as PDR) occur in most religions... but the ones that grind my gears the most seem to take place within the Christian religion. Whether it is leaching outside locals bars looking for a new piece of convert or their attempts to draw attention to themselves with things like what occur at Noodles it always feels so forced, gaudy, and self righteous.

I don't have anything wrong with loving Jesus... that's cool, but to be Christian is to be Christ-like, and I just can't imagine Jesus walked around...

"Man I am so glad I died for sins. I love me soooo much... hey hey Jew! Guess what? I love me and I died for you! Ya buddy... All me! Up HIGH!"

My belief is that love for Jesus is just like regular love... in the sense that if you want be on your knees worshiping all night till you scream "LORD!" in your own house then that's your business. Think of loving Jesus as loving your body... it's healthy to do it privacy, in public... it's called Indecent Exposure.

And what kind of country is this that I can't smoke in a bar, but I have to be exposed to second-hand religion? No sir. I'm not say a person shouldn't be free to thank god for the meal... but... Him Damnit... he's fucking omnipotent.... not deaf! Be humble about it you jackass....

I guess what I'm saying is... when PDR happens... these people aren't concerned with showing Jesus how much they love him... but that other people know how much they love him.

I appreciate Jesus for his love of God and his belief that he could sacrifice himself to save humanity... but... that's between Jesus and myself... same goes for God. It's not important to me that people know that I love God... it's important to me that God knows that... and if he's really omnipotent ... then he knows before I even say it.

In conclusion... remember the sweetness of subtly. Wearing a cross (well most crosses. please see above.) is like a sweet smile for or a holding hands with Jesus. Obviously praying in a public restaurant is like giving Jesus a hand job in public. It's awkward for everyone involved.

Parody Movie: Instant Gratification

So here I was... Enjoying me some nice Old School Adult Swim when this trash came on my screen....




WHEN IN THE HELL IS THIS GOING TO STOP! It's as ridiculous as when VH1 started I love the millennium.

Since 2000 this company has made... nine of these fucking things... four of which being scary movies... the others being date movie, epic movie, hero movie, meet the spartans, and now disaster movie. The last three were just release THIS YEAR!

Some of these movies they parody aren't even on DVD yet?! IRON MAN IS STILL THEATRES!!! It's getting so fucking ridiculous...

Ok yes scary movie was kinda enjoyable.. granted I was 14 when I saw it. but I mean... how in the hell do they keep finding money to make these pieces of crap!?

Why don't they just start making parodies of movies that haven't come yet? I can just see it...

Coming this fall.... The Trailer Movie....

Fact of the matter is I would rather sit thru 5 land before times than waste my time even watching 20 minutes of this crap. I hated Juno the first time... why would I want to see a terrible parody of it not even a year after I saw it.

If I wanted to see bad parodies of recent movies it's called fuckin SNL! Or madtv... or hell Best Week Ever for christsakes!!! That's right... I'd rather sit thru an episode of Best Week Ever...

Make me worry about this generation and our predisposition to alhemziers... really if we need to have reminded of things that happen two days ago... *shudders*

i feel like we are in an age of instant gratification... we are no longer willing to wait. And that's a BIG problem. It worries me.

I mean these maybe just be crappy movies we're talking about but they are reflection of the way our generation is... we use and abuse all in the same week.

I know people barely 24 hours older than I am that have been married, divorced, and had kids... at 22!? *scoff* slow the fuck down people. What in the hell are you going to do when you're 35?

James and I were talking about this other day... with technology and stuff... everyone is just so ... everything... here... now... bam bam bam bam! People are under the misconception that life is so short.

People life is fucking long! And yeah I know... death is scary... trust me it keeps me awake some nights... but I mean... my grandma is 78. 78!? It's ok to slow down once in awhile...

think of... think of the old spice commercial with Neil Patrick Harris. What makes them funny is that he played a doctor as a kid... the joke got seasoned with age. Life is the same way... like... think of some the grown up movies you watched as a kid... sometimes they are a lot funnier now that you understand... like Back to the Future.

My point... life needs to slow down. And these terrible movies have to stop being made.

Swing Vote

So i totally didn't know who I would vote for...

Until THIS!!!!



He speaks to me in a language I can hear.

Next! (Disgusting!)

I know I've been writing a lot of blogs lately but this however can not go un published. What in the fuck is wrong with the people who are on Next!. Or cheaters, or parental control, or any of those horrible horrible shows.

Take for example... Paris... from Next!




this episode was on last night, and yes I think less of myself for keeping it on, and even more less of myself to staying through the commercial break. what this clip doesn't show is that afterwards they ask why Paris has such white teeth... answer? White nail-polish. What in the fuck is wrong with kids these days? Where the fuck are their parents? And why are we encouraging them to be on TV?

20 years from now (assuming that kid lives another 20 years if he's ingesting white nail polish on a daily basis :S) that kid has to look back on that episode. Both! Of those kids. It's not the homosexuality... really it's not... it's that bad dialog, horrible acting, and blatant disregard for self-respect that makes me uncomfortable as the laughter that emits from the other four dudes in the van.

Shows like this really make me question the moral fiber of society. Granted it's not burning and raping villages in the name of God. In historical context making an ass of yourself is a far less crime... but in the here and now... are there really people like that in this world?

in real life would you prove your love to me by eating a pig's vagina (Tila Tequila) or can anyone really be in love with Flava Flav... or Brett Michaels... and seriously what self-respect Marine (gay or straight) would even consider dating a man wearing an origami belt and paints their teeth with nail polish?

Let me rephrase my concern. These people do it because they are getting paid, and fame. They do it because there is a DEMAND for it. My concern is with the demographic of demand. What makes everyday people like you and me stop and watch this smut.

Does it make us feel better about ourselves? Is it like watching a human train wreck where you can't look away? Or simply secretly do we RELATE to these people in some sick way.

My Favorite Customer

It was early into the day and an older woman came up and asked about our smoothies... surprisingly she understood... they were only one price! (Really that's fucking impressive) Anyway she ordered a sensation and I made it.... blah blah blah... while I was getting her change I noticed she was getting pills out of her purse... and not thinking a thing about it I asked "do you need some water for your pills?" She said yes and thanked me...

After she took her pills she came back and dropped the cup off it have it thrown it away and she tells me... "You know today is my birthday... that was such a wonderful gift thank you. You are very caring and considerate you're mother must be so proud. She raised you right."

I literally almost cried...I could barely say thank you. I'm gonna remember that lady for the rest of my life. Not cause she gave a tip (she didn't btw), Not because she bought over 1000 dollars worth of merch because I went to school with her niece, and not because she asked if I had Space Commands for Sony VCRS.

No. Because having someone genuinely APPRECIATE your hospitality is worth so much more than any spiff, tip, or bullshit incentive people need to be fucking human to other people. All I did was treat her like i want people to treat me.. it was nothing special. If I was taking a pill I'd like water...

Not to sound like a bitch, but I do know that I do a lot for a lot people. I'm not blind to the fact that I do many nice things, and sometimes for people who aren't always nice to me. But the "goal" behind that I guess... Is... how I treat you. That's how I want to be treated. If you did the things for me that I did for you even just once a month... you realized how really it's not all that heroic. Cover a meal once and awhile, burn me a cd you know I would love, bring me breakfast at work. Honestly you don't have to spend any money, even just a short message, or text, or call... just saying... "You're a good friend. Thank you." ... Just like my new favorite customer... all she did was thank me for being me.

They are little things, and at a very little cost, and the fufillment you get from making someone's day is worth everything you put into it. It's more than being a good friend, or employee, or customer... it's just geniuely being a good person. EVERYONE has the capablitiy and means to do so. All it takes it even just once... treat someone how you would like them to treat you.

Not that I'm expert on customer service or life in generally, but I think employees AND customers... all people really would benefit so much from that simple piece of advice... think of how you'd want to be treated in that situation. I know I'm not cracking any new mantras but I think it's such a simple and easy theory to employ and so many people don't. I mean I'm not a saint... there are days that I don't... but I mean... it works...

because uh... when was the last time someone called you kind and considerate?

And I know 100 other customers will follow her that will treat me like shit no matter how nice I am... but you know... that's cool... I'll take the abuse.... because as long as ONE person reminds me that I was raised right. Then it's always worth it.

And now you know the rest of the story...

You Got TOM'D : The Drama of the Top 8

Before I begin I have two anecdotes of sorts. The first... is actually a comic... it's one of my favorite Penny Arcades to date...

right-click to enlarge

The next anecdote is actually an inside joke between Kurtiss and myself about the audacity of when one of your top friends removes you as a friend and Tom is added onto your profile in their stead. We refer to this as being "Tom'd" and how embarrassing it is to realize you've looked like a fuckin tool having Tom in your top friends... that you really could come up with 8 people you kinda know or even bands that you like... these two stories of sorts bring me to my rant.

The Drama of Top 8

In all honesty since the birth of the social networking craze and the ability to rank our friends no good has come of it. It's ended friendships, brewed vendettas, and honestly causes so much more trouble than it's worth. Why even have a top friends box... why do we have to rank those closest to us. I've always hated it.

First off... because I'm one of those people who gets seriously offended if I'm not in someone else's top whatever... it's like... Dude... You can't expect me to believe " un-named whore i hate 5" is a better friend to you!? It makes me feel like such a five year old... but I'm not going to lie...

that gets to me more tho... when people pretend it's not a big deal... OF COURSE it's a big deal... if having the power to break even the strongest of wills wasn't fun in some secret sadistic way... top friend applications wouldn't exist. I mean what the best way to let someone know you've moved on... rip that bitch out of the top 8... or put your new boyfriend as number one.It's the best leverage... and testing the waters... forget about it...

Of course I always feel so awkward when I have someone in my top friends and i'm not in theirs... I mean I had Nate in my top friends for like 2 months and eventually just took him out because i feel like that douche Karen that no one likes. But you know what's worse? Is when someone puts you in their top friends and you have to make a space for them... and like you can't add another row because you don't have 3 other people you really care to put up... and then you have to decide who you're gonna kick out...

I realize that being honest about being offended by all this makes me like Emo Tween of the year. But seriously... it grinds my gears. My feeling of worthlessness in someone's life should not be sparked by the fact that after 9 months, or 4 years (ahem BRITTANY! :p) I don't feel like a "top friend". I mean really... what more could I POSSIBLY do?!

In all seriousness it does hurt my feelings. And I know that makes me tool, but so be it I'm not going to pretend like it's ok. That's the end of that chapter.