You Got TOM'D : The Drama of the Top 8

Before I begin I have two anecdotes of sorts. The first... is actually a comic... it's one of my favorite Penny Arcades to date...

right-click to enlarge

The next anecdote is actually an inside joke between Kurtiss and myself about the audacity of when one of your top friends removes you as a friend and Tom is added onto your profile in their stead. We refer to this as being "Tom'd" and how embarrassing it is to realize you've looked like a fuckin tool having Tom in your top friends... that you really could come up with 8 people you kinda know or even bands that you like... these two stories of sorts bring me to my rant.

The Drama of Top 8

In all honesty since the birth of the social networking craze and the ability to rank our friends no good has come of it. It's ended friendships, brewed vendettas, and honestly causes so much more trouble than it's worth. Why even have a top friends box... why do we have to rank those closest to us. I've always hated it.

First off... because I'm one of those people who gets seriously offended if I'm not in someone else's top whatever... it's like... Dude... You can't expect me to believe " un-named whore i hate 5" is a better friend to you!? It makes me feel like such a five year old... but I'm not going to lie...

that gets to me more tho... when people pretend it's not a big deal... OF COURSE it's a big deal... if having the power to break even the strongest of wills wasn't fun in some secret sadistic way... top friend applications wouldn't exist. I mean what the best way to let someone know you've moved on... rip that bitch out of the top 8... or put your new boyfriend as number one.It's the best leverage... and testing the waters... forget about it...

Of course I always feel so awkward when I have someone in my top friends and i'm not in theirs... I mean I had Nate in my top friends for like 2 months and eventually just took him out because i feel like that douche Karen that no one likes. But you know what's worse? Is when someone puts you in their top friends and you have to make a space for them... and like you can't add another row because you don't have 3 other people you really care to put up... and then you have to decide who you're gonna kick out...

I realize that being honest about being offended by all this makes me like Emo Tween of the year. But seriously... it grinds my gears. My feeling of worthlessness in someone's life should not be sparked by the fact that after 9 months, or 4 years (ahem BRITTANY! :p) I don't feel like a "top friend". I mean really... what more could I POSSIBLY do?!

In all seriousness it does hurt my feelings. And I know that makes me tool, but so be it I'm not going to pretend like it's ok. That's the end of that chapter.

Good Job Juno!

So I just read that story today about the 17 girls in Mass. that are pregnant. 16 of who are only 15 (numbers confusing much)... and how according to TIME magazine most of them were in a pact to get pregnant and raise their kids together... oh come on now... What the FUCK?

That's just ridickyickalous... I personally blame Juno. Mainly because I hated that movie and any chance I get to spurn how awful it was I take advantage of. In all seriousness I do think that god awful movie might have an inkling of responsibility for these stupid girls thinking their life would be better if they had babies... because i mean what could be better than getting to play guitar with your twit of a boyfriend. But I'm not really here to bash Juno into the ground for causing a decay in the morality of youth but rather to comment how awful the situation at hand is.

Those girls have no fucking clue what they got themselves into. One of them had been quoting as saying that they had younger siblings so they understood what it would be like... bitch please. By having my younger sibling and my niece around I couldn't think of a better contraceptive. I mean love them both but taking care of kids is hard fucking work. Especially for those first couple of years... They can't tell you what's wrong... and when they are sick it's overwhelming... when they are in your possession there is no escape.... there is no... handing them off to someone else... I know... by watching those two on occasions... especially the weekends I've taken care of my brother when my parents were out of town... there is no break. Those kids are yours and they aren't like puppies or kittens where when they aren't cute anymore you can give them away. And children are fucking expensive. From food to diapers to clothes to child care to health care to just EVERYTHING.

Further more experts have been saying the girls were looking for unconditional love. Which... just... these girls are so fucking stupid. First, *sigh* I wouldn't call the "love" from a baby to be what these girls think it will be. "Love" from infants... that's neediness... it's instinct. They NEED you, they don't LOVE you... babies have no memory until they are like two. And up until kids are like 10... most of what people call love... isn't love... it's need. And then after that... I'm sorry but when you were going on to middle school... do you remember how fucking mean you were to your parents... seriously? I mean these girls should remember that was only like 3 years ago for them. It's not until you're like... 20... that you really... appreciate everything your parents have done. These girls will not find the love that they are looking for from these babies for a long fucking time.

But here's the real tragedy in my eyes... it's not those stupid fucking girls that will make the money to care for their bastard children by exploiting how "brain-washed" they were by the media, and performing "scared straight" seminars 3 or 4 years from now. And it's not their poor bastard children that will grow up to be ungrateful bastard teenagers like their mothers... no. The REAL tragedy is going to be when these clueless boys get rounded up and thrown in jail and force to pay child support on children I have no doubt in my mind they were tricked into having. Find me a teenage boy who thinks that being a dad would be "Sweet!" as one of the girls yelled out when she found out she was preggers. Save the 24 year old homeless man... that... I dunno what the fuck was up with that. These guys are going to shunned, and force to pay out the ass, and in the ass (in jail) for something they probably wanted no part of. 5 dollars say half the girls lied about their age, or found these poor tools on myspace... Are they completely innocent... no, but honestly I hope the poor bastards won't have to pay because of the mistake these dumb girls will realize THEY made.

In the end... people on railing on the school for not providing condoms... seriously? it's obvious those girls WANTED to get pregnant what good would condoms do. How about stop providing free child care for teenage dumbasses, and WIC, and welfare. If they can't provide for the child then take the fucking child away and throw that mother in jail. I hope to god no one helps those girls. They need to learn that having kids is not a trend or a past time. And I really hope there are follow up stories to this incident.

And I hope their parents beat the hell out of them (um once the child is out of course). If I ever found out my child deliberately got pregnant before the age of 20 I'd kick them the fuck out of the house. I mean it's bad enough when a teenager is careless and makes a mistake, but to forcibly do that. What the fuck is wrong with kids these days?

Juno. That's what.